I am 28 years old now.
...I'm torn between wanting and feeling grateful for the stuff I got for my birthday, and feeling guilty about wanting stuff for myself, because "SOME STARVING KIDS IN AFRICA DON'T HAVE A PLAYSTATION 4". Even though literally zero people have ever said anything like that to me literally. I guess I just don't feel like I've earned any of it, and I've wanted to prove myself for so long and I don't feel like I'm ever going to get that chance.
I used to justify extravagant purchases by at least writing reviews or articles about this stuff, but I'm still trying to recover the voice I lost regarding criticism.
I still feel like garbage. Not as garbagey as this morning, and yesterday, and tomorrow most like. Hard not to think I've fallen so far behind everyone else my age that there's no possible way to recover.
I've used that word twice now. I guess that's the state I'm in now. Sure doesn't feel like recovery though.
I did a couple of stupid sketches today. Does that count as progress?